Making Sense Out Of Things

Time is so valuable, and I'm understanding it more these days from working ten hour shifts! There are a lot of things I want to accomplish, and I'm realizing that a lot of it is mental. I mean playing video games and keeping myself occupied with it is really fun but ideally, I'm starting to feel that I'm wasting my time.

Instead of really watching T.V. or movies, I think I should really focus on living a full life now. This time that I have to myself is something that I don't really want to let go of. Being single, there is this great gap of time with what I want to do now. At the beginning, I was really rusty and just going about trying very difficult things that I was just inspired to do. I lacked so much knowledge and had a pretty weak heart for developing myself, which meant that I just wanted to stay steady with something good.

After going through some grueling periods, I no longer need that. I'm going to go after what I'm looking for. I pretty much like the idea of having a form of residual income while being able to focus on other things. I'm just like a lot of other people too. I'm sure people would just love making a million bucks and having all this free time to spend time with loved ones or travel and do fun things without no one really invading your personal space. That is the goal I am currently trying to accomplish now, and I'm willing to work really hard for it. Along with the fun things, I have an itchy desire to just learn about complicated things like how the human body works or mastering physical mechanics in this world. It would be cool to be able to spend some time doing those things too by developing something personal that brings me income. I am willing to take affordable financial risks now for accomplishing a goal of a more enlightened direction.

Letting Things Run Smoothly

Ever since breaking out of a major depression in my puberty, seriously, I was just love hungry and thinking like how could a short and chubby guy like myself end up with a smoking hot wife. To add to the sorrows, I bombed an Honor's English course because I couldn't connect with Shakespeare! I felt like my love game wasn't smooth enough and that my Ivy League career was over; on top of that, I was so short-sighted and feeling so dependent on being around company. I was just this lonely wolf underneath and not doing so hot; one of my teachers took notice. Man, I was so dumb but thinking back it just makes me literally laugh about everything that I was going through underneath.

These days it's just flowing and even though I'm a lot shorter than what I would have liked to become, I'm just not letting that play a major downfall to my confidence anymore. I'm not even comparing my height to anyone, but myself. I don't care about a girl's appearance; heck, even almost all the beautiful women in the world seem to look like whatever to me. Okay, maybe a few of them might be really fun to go out with for me.

I'm starting to just be relaxed underneath and just making the effort to not worry about the pain and suffering from feeling so short! I'm accepting the situations I'm in and choosing to not be bothered about anything. This has been making it a lot easier for me to will myself to living a diligent lifestyle. Comparing myself to some people better than me, I'm pretty much nothing. There's nothing to it! In all absolute honesty, willing myself to go in the right path and direction has been pretty nice.

Hard To Stay Consistent

I guess there are normal times where when things are just feeling solid, something just happens to your mind or body and then you just want to shut down from progressing in life. I have learned that even though I am still under some controlled rage, I still want to not be bothered by anything. By working hard to be not be bothered by anything which is probably what most people would logically want, the mind can be willed into clearing itself up!

It's definitely making a choice and putting in the effort to commit oneself to not let the actions of others offend you so greatly that it causes your actions to be influenced. When that happens, I think the person who is under this situation should pretty much go talk to a trained and caring psychologist. There are some people like that one person in a group who just vents about his or her own problems while talking about how bad others are. Since I've been in a mess with a few of those individuals, I'm now espousing that those people get some psychological therapy to find a way to not stress out so much and verbalize it!

Things Really Coming Together

To get to where you want to be in life, there needs to be some form of discipline. I'm realizing this more each day as I reflect on the true meanings of life. Honestly, deep down inside there are sometimes desires that are just completely obsessed about delusions. It's really hard to break out of that personal mood and not giving in to the flesh without feeling lousy, tired, bored, and lackadaisical. Therefore, my body just puts on its thrusts and then I make will to willfully committing personal sinful acts.

I'm not very proud of being ascertain with those moments. Some people have told me that pretty much everyone is like that where they fall short in something sinful. Although it may be small and the majority won't do something crazy enough to be put into jail, it's just something in our human nature that we tend to forget about.

Daily Effort

Just this morning, I was attending this morning place where there are quite a bit of other young people which dominate the place. There are probably a couple cute girls there and man they look tall. This one cute brunette girl looked really frail but when she stood it felt like she was inadvertently towering over me. It made me want to cry underneath. I then told myself repeatedly, "Effort, effort!" Afterwards, the feelings of sorrow went away. After allowing that to happen, a pretty Asian girl with an appearance I don't mind introduced herself to me before I left the building. I think she's a little bigger than me too. Oh well. One of my really young buddies said that he would be like "Forget the world" if he ended up falling in love with a taller woman and she was the same way with him!

Those feelings really feel like temporary bi-polar or something. I get it sometimes in random places when I am around really tall people. I'm recovering from realizing that I am pretty short. Okay, it makes me want to laugh now and after reading this website called something like "Short Persons Support", I don't really take my height so seriously now.

This daily effort is pretty much concentrating on the good stuff while not letting it bug me. It's something that I have been doing recently and my mood hasn't really become all bi-polar after having made this effort and letting it take place for me now. I'm now accepting this process of hard work of not letting anything bug me and being diligent with where I want to be. The short support group website has a quote that says, "It's not the size of the dreamer, but the size of the dream." In terms of dating wise, it may depress a few more short men but it seems so jocular to me. The YouTube video clip below is an illustration of how a short man can end up dating a giant female if he's into those types of women.

Fun Stuff For Me To Look Forward To

There are plenty of sport games being televised right now and it is also fun to watch my favorite teams win. Although they put up a good fight sometimes and lose really badly, I still like those teams.

Anyhow, I think fun in the weekend would amount to traveling and doing a lot of crazy fun and expensive stuff outdoors like skydiving or sailing or even windsurfing! Right now, fun for me is creating solutions to make money that would get me this millionaire playboy lifestyle that I would enjoy having.

On top of that, I don't know just lying around sometimes and watching T.V. during the weekend might be fun. I guess when I get really serious with a woman and intent on settling down with her, I'll be losing a lot more sleep during the week so I could spend time with her. I sometimes get these flashbacks where I just want to stress out, but now I'm just working hard to not let those memories get to me so I usually end up trying not to laugh out so loud now if others are around me and I get those constant reminders.

Time is such a delusion for me because sometimes I feel like I have a lot of time, but then when I immerse myself into something it feels like I ran out of time. I guess I should seriously focus on the necessities of life first for myself before going down the weekend fun path. I guess it will work as a balance for me now and that is what I will try it now.

Generalizing Good Goals

The way I want to start organizing things is to take the week seriously on pratically things and then on the weekends do really fun things or other things to get personally lost in. What I will try now to do is limit the spoils of fun I try to engage myself in and go all out during my three day weekend which pretty much ends on Monday because I work the night shift with enough sleep included!

For the week, I'm having so much fun with this whole Forex investment thing. There's so much I could try to master before going to work, but I think I should just limit the fun by letting my programmed robot do all the work for me now and to just check its progress during the weekend or as time goes. I'm going to go for creating more robust solutions during the weekend while during the week I focus on getting plenty of rest, good health, and going for a Master's in financing while taking very profitable courses that would relate to my life and career-paths.

I guess I'm not finding time to really go dating right now, but I have been meeting interesting and pretty cute females who are friendly and seem interested in talking to me as a friend.  Yeah, that's pretty cool now and with this whole girls being pretty thing, I'm starting to not really look at a girl like that because just staring down a girl's body gets pretty boring if I can't enjoy anything with the person! My mind is pretty well-trained to not let a really hot girl get the best of me now. I don't even care about a girl's appearance, but more about the person. It seems like there a lot of pretty women out there who are genuinely nice and mean to have a great relationship with her partner too. I notice it and possibly just because a girl isn't that great looking doesn't always mean that she is automatically nice too. Personality exists in everyone! I'm thinking the best woman for me would be ideally the best woman for any guy in particular, so might as well work hard to not be bothered by it or anything else now.

Future Dedication

I dedicate myself to take naps whenever I feel tired and have time to do so. I have been just all over the place and sometimes can't sleep because I work the night shift. It's a good thing that I don't have too many distractions like my supervisor does at work. He's a really good man and loves his job of producing parts to take care of my dad's company. He speaks well of my dad who suffered through a lot of the business pains.

Right now, business is thriving and my dad is able to do wonderful things for all of my co-workers. I am in the family business now too. It wasn't just handed over to me; the job wasn't even given to me- my dad had to feel like I deserved the position. When he asked me to join, I smiled and became excited to join a new field.

Some Developments Never Change For Awhile

My little sister introduced two cats into the household after being off in college. Boy, she has some personal problems of just stressing out and bickering about stuff. Maybe she could go see a psychologist to discuss some of her worries. Then again, I'm only saying that while choosing to not be bothered by anything she tells me; I guess I'm just looking for a very good solution that would work out for her which would interest me just for wanting to be a giving individual. It feels good to be an occasional giver- I'm sort of a giver in general.

One of her cats is really social and has taken a liking to me so he likes to come into my room and get this lovely attention of being around me. He just starts purring like he is conditioned to do so when I just go near him. I guess he just feels the need to socialize with the owners on a daily basis. He's just chilling on my lap right now as I write this post.

I'm starting to call those house cats my own cats too just to mess around. They are pretty funny creatures who like to do a lot of sleeping, fighting, and occasionally running around really fast. It's amazing how they don't really lose their athleticism. With my cat jumping on my lap thing, it's been going on for awhile and it's something I'm really accustomed to now.

Fully Honest, Think, and Accepting Help Theory

I think some people were just born to be greater than others from having an advantage that others diddn't. Wherever we started from and how we end up depends on circumstances. It really sucks to think about how many lives were lost during the World Wars- not to mention, how these soldiers couldn't live a fully purposeful life and had to be killed is just really tragic.

I'm now thinking that as a people, it is normal to be individualistically hazy about being fully honest about the self and portraying that to others. Basically, we need to not ourselves be deceived by some people who bother us. We also should work hard to let those bothersome thoughts not get to us and from being hard working and personally honest and not bothered, come up with a very viable solution to appease ourselves.

I'm thinking about this post applying to how should talk to the worst people on the planet imaginable for us to go talking to right now. We need to have great powers of discernment and have to really focus all of our attention while letting stuff that bothers us to not get to us. This is my thought- let's be fully honest about our feelings, let's place our thoughts on the situation at hand and be able to see the general things from the clues given to us with how the other person responds in speech or body language, and thirdly, let's accept help if it seems really viable for us and no matter how imposing others feel for us, we should not let that stress us out.

Planning Ahead

After being desensitized with this whole Facebook thing, it looks like I am attracting a few more beautiful young women to want to be friends. Yeah, I have some form of sexy appeal. Even this one cute girl was asking me for a long term relationship, she was a really aggressive part-time model who was just trying to find the man of her dreams on Facebook. She considered me a candidate and that is pretty much flattering. Not to mention, I confessed my feelings to this girl I liked and she too was flattered, so I guess that's how it goes.

One of my good buddies called me to confess my true feelings with this girl who I was bothered by for a time being. He knows her pretty well and doesn't really like her from citing concerns like her being melodramatic or just moody while dating some of the worst people you could imagine based on image alone. I guess her biological clock is ticking and she is going for what appeals to her and it must be these guys who are seen like a bunch of bad dudes hitting on her and being nice to her, must sucker her in.

I really need to think about that girl. I can easily imagine expressing passionate feelings for her but what would the result be? I want to be able to make a responsible decision and not go after something with a lot of haste. What would be wonderful though is if there was a literal stability with my life partner and after we married, things just got really fun for a very long time!

Maximizing Potential

During high school, I considerably had a time where I would hit a stroke of genius and just dive into that idea and then stir up positive emotions in others. Therefore, I was told by this guy who envied me that I had a lot of potential. He was this Korean guy who was considered to be cute and then he told me that was really jealous of me and wanted to use me!

He was a great basketball player and an awesome singer and has a really beautiful wife right now. This guy who seemed to have it all working well for him told me that he was jealous of me. I am laughing a lot while remembering it now.

People Who Bothered Me

It's pretty crazy in that I have a really high tolerance level for being around individuals who others would find very crude or annoying. The thing about me is that even though I have those feelings like others might, I don't really act on those feelings alone.

It's crazy that these people portrayed themselves selfishly or conceitedly that they were better than me and wanted to show all the ropes. They were pretty much self-righteous with me, and I guess it makes sense because these people were trying to run a church! There's a good and bad church, and the bad church will completely miss a point or not be able to understand a concept. If they said that they couldn't understand me, then they were not really inspired by their God to try to lead me in a better path. They forced themselves on me in a jaded way and now I see that they should all go see a professional and caring psychologist to help manage their angry feelings and how they act towards certain individuals.

In the show Family Guy, there was this episode where the baby Stewie and his dog Brian go into different portals and then Stewie finds that his big sister is really hot, which is a joke because she was considered to be the least good looking there too. It was funny to remember so I had to share it; they then end up in this Disney portal where everything is lively and like a fairy tale where everyone sings happy songs. When the show's loser shows up at the family's door, everyone else except the dog and baby end up violently stomping and beating up the loser to a bloody pulp. Likewise, those young church people had this messed up ideology from being self-rightous and as a result they influenced a crippling effect of low attendance. To add insult to injury, they left the church too after awhile.

Funny Result With "Betty"

The woman I wrote about Betty Lam is a real person who probably read a few of my blog posts and then became scared off from attending that odd church which made me mad! I called her up and received the usual "Stop calling me" and hanging up. One day, I left her a message and asked her "Does my height have anything to with it?" and also said "Do you want me to stop talking to you?" I called her up and she said that my height had nothing do with it even though she is a little taller than me still.

It's pretty cute what Betty went through with me. She completely lost it in her train of thought and was thinking that I am someone she can't get along with, especially after we were coexisting really well with each other. Her reason was that she couldn't understand me and so she turned that into an excuse for becoming estranged with me. That's cool, I don't harbor any bad feelings for her.

Honestly, I think no matter how annoyed a person gets with another person, she should be able to talk about the incident in a mature manner and not be so closed-minded. It lets me know that Betty had some pretty big worries that she couldn't share with everyone and how she should seek after a psychological consultation to try to manage the stressful feelings that others cause her.

Anyhow, Betty made me laugh so much when she said that she was going to change her number because of me and that's when I haven't found the interest of calling her back. It's like she would go through all that effort of affecting her life insurance business and selling herself as a really friendly and secure individual for nothing because I'm not even moving a finger to try to communicate with her now. I guess she was living a lie and not being really true to herself and could possibly use a caring professional psychologist to help her out with some personal stress management issues.

Considering Adding Good Reviews

For a person starting to become specialized in a area that would be profitable for me, I might be able to start selling good products that helped me out as well through spreading the word of mouth. Many scams capitalize on how this dream job could occur for the individual, and how easy the business would be to manage.

One of the girls I dated told me how she wants to focus on her own business and ambitions. I told her that's really good for her, and then she showed me this YouTube clip that inspires her to have a positive and diligent spirit. I totally forgot the link, but it said something like no matter how low you are brought in life, you need to pick yourself back up and try even harder to get to your personal goals.

I learned after being really naive that running a business takes a lot of effort even if you are considering being employed at your own home. By watching shows like Pawn Stars and Storage Wars, it has given me a broader perspective that there needs to be a pretty big market of interested buyers to create a business on something.

Actual Concerns of Trading Stocks

I'm sure deep down inside a lot of young people's minds they are interested in becoming successful with investments. However, the risk factor is considerably steep for the average person, so they would rather not take the gamble of losing so much money. Plus, the anxiety of not knowing how to begin day trading adds to a lot of worries. There are also those who start trading and end up losing big! They just see it as a rush to keep putting in money and trying to create a huge hit-and-run over a short period of time.

I can understand that it's a pretty huge risk to begin trading currency. It takes a lot of discipline and really knowing your stuff. What I like so much about swing trading is that it's sort of like playing poker just that you don't have to be grinding at the tables 24/7 and you can obtain a professional level of information to get a decent tap on how the market will react. I'm just in it to try to make money, so because money is so dry might as well just create a virtual set-and-go machine that will continue to work for me while I'm not at the computer. Whether I lose or win, I get to focus my time on other enriching things.

From having done it for awhile and picking up on really cool trading systems, I'm just really enthusiastic about staying in and starting out with possibly only $2000. I originally planned on rising $25000 of my life savings, but now I have reduced it to the two most favorable currency pairs that work to my favor. I don't even pay attention how the dollar is growing weaker than the Euro because my thing is on autopilot most of the time!

Proof of Profit

The graph at the bottom represents that my backtest of last year proved to be a winning strategy for this currency. I pretty much programmed from scratch a combination I thought would be a winner and it theoretically took place. I am currently in profit with demo testing this currency; I may eventually put it to the real test with possibly a $1000 account.

The great thing about this platform called MetaTrader4 is that it is able to throw in recent data from last year and fast forward to right now, while testing the logic I desire. I just put it on fast forward, so the test usually lasts about ten minutes on average. This program of mine I wrote has quite a lot of elements, so I noticed the A.I. working pretty hard crunching numbers for me.

Important To Reveal True Feelings

I'm noticing these days that what we do with our time is what pretty much makes up our being. With the things that happen for myself, it's sometimes really hard for me to let go of some things. It's pretty much unimportant to pursue for my actual level of happiness. I think I just have to learn to manage and balance my time better. I just see that there's so many things opened up for me to do and a lot of different opportunities.

I'm still facing these bored feelings of wanting to keep myself occupied. I think I need to prepare myself and to just discipline myself to get to a position I need to be in. What my friend told me in making a relationship happen with a girl is to pretty much be honest with her when you really like her and if she says "No" you just have to move on. Anyway that guy had the girl who broke his heart end up being interested in giving him a chance again. He was really shaken up for the last few years and then when this happy thing happened for him, he started becoming mellow and giving me advice about the important things in life. I hope it works out for him, but never know.

Turning On Proper Think Caps

I want to do so many things at once. I can't really put it all together and be totally satisfied with myself right now because my body just naturally finds this attraction with doing a few things to maintain myself. I'm really going to have to start this whole multi-tasking thing where I'm just focusing on one thing at a thing for a period of time. In terms of operating systems, analogously I want to use a round-robin system. Hey, I majored in Computer Science and came out with a meager 2.4 GPA and Bachelor's Degree, so might as well recall something!

I was all over the place in college, too. I was like taking 20 units and bombing a course per quarter! I would end up getting C's all over the place and with the rest of my time outside of class and doing an all-nighter to finish up my course work, I would be playing video games and screwing around with myself. Fortunately, I never got myself caught up into the idea of drinking or doing drugs. For myself, I believe that the ultimate substance of passion and energy comes from within, so I wouldn't be able to imagine myself relying on a non-human substance driven from a plant to give me sensations. I just don't copy with that feeling and it's permanent for me. All the fun comes from using myself as the main machine of creating personal sensations! Oh yeah, there's the hangovers too like being moody about stuff or anxious but working hard to get out of those things wasn't easy at first, but I managed finally.

Placing Proper Focus

About this whole money issue where I play poker to take other people's money, I'm realizing that it's a thing that I have been really ignorant over. Basically, I'm playing for my own benefit and not thinking about the misfortune of others at the table. I think that's how mostly all poker players are going to think anyway. The part that sucks the most is losing and then having to grind many hours again to break even and put in even more hours to make profit.

As a result, from the amount of experienced I have gained in playing poker, I'm pretty much a 50-50 player. I will sometimes profit and other times, I will lose but end up breaking even. The thing that I hate the most about the game is just spending all that time like you are having fun doing something and then realizing that nothing came out of it. For myself, my measuring tool is how much money I made from that session. When I lose, man I'm so spoiled because I don't want to spend more time trying to make back the profit I lost.

Overall, I'm just going to play some of it whenever I'm in the mood and not and hopefully I profit from it. I use a bank-roll management strategy where I only lose like 1% of it so that I will always be in the game. At the same time, I am so wish-washy about it. I don't really want to feel like I'm wasting my time. It's only good when I'm winning and when I'm losing, it sucks.

I have adopted an alternative to playing poker which is pretty much trading stocks. Then, I don't have to be sitting down and literally watching second-by-second my money depleting away. At least I can go do something else as a result! I really like that a lot better. Even when I'm winning money, I could still be focused on something else more worthwhile to me. Overall, poker is like a device for me to make money as a business and the game can have days where it's running slow and other times where it's running hot. Anyway, it is a pretty exciting game. See, how wish-washy I am?

Being Among Friendly People

Socializing with a bunch of great and mindful people who just want to participate in something fun and hanging out while meeting new people is just a wonderful thing! I didn't mind and was just like mindless about stuff in general and was really having fun in a genuine sense. I guess that's a good thing. I really should be careful with some people I associate with now and put a little profile on them because I'm very tolerant with annoying people in general.

I guess when things just come up in life and from starting to understand how things work in life with people in general, I'm just moving along these days and able to sort of laugh about things that happen. Man, I really hate losing at games that involve money. With all of that time spent and then you end up losing some money, it's just like you had fun but still lost and didn't make profit which was the intent and so it's something I should avoid now.

My Flawless Personality

There's an area of my personality that is pretty much perfect and can't be undone. This is my strongest suit in my personal walk in life. I pretty much aim to get along with everybody no matter how mad or judgmental I felt with them at that moment of time. To show proof, I have never removed any of my Facebook friends from my profile. I won't ever remove anyone no matter how annoyed I feel with them because I don't think words to argue over is something to get so flustered over. Basically, I do all the mind games with people so it's the other people who end up removing me from their Facebook page.

Sometimes I do feel that sense of insecurity with someone on my Facebook page or I can sense or remember someone who removed me from their Facebook page and confirm it. It's really weird that I can track it like this. Basically, one of my biggest arguments in my life have basically been about asking why a person blocked me and that we should reconnect again much to their chagrin. I probably ended up making fun of her unintentionally or really bothered her with mindless fluff about life.

I really like to pretty much be a peacemaker and with this act of me never removing anyone from Facebook, I guess that makes me one step better than the people I ended up bugging about to add me back as a friend. I think I should reveal it to them in due time.  

Putting Words Into Actions

One of the things that my mama still tells me from time to time is that I should be placing my verbalized thoughts into action now. For awhile, I just didn't know what was going through my head because it's like all these chemicals in my head are telling me to just be lazy and rot away while being a couch potato and obsessed freak about meaningless things.

These days I'm just more aware of the truth that is going on with my life and I am personally not afraid of where I am headed. I'm seeking for something that would work in my life, and I am not going to let something bother me anymore. It's a lot of hard work to put on that focus for me, and it's really enjoyable for me too. It's just about being patient and putting in a whole lot of effort to get to where I want to be and not stressing out from all of that effort I'm putting into now.

I guess I'm going to try to play it smart now and work with the things that actually make sense for me. Of all the things that used to bother me, it's a daily effort for me to not let those things kill the mood for me. As I grow more in knowledge and become aware of circumstances through a person's actions and perceiving their words to uncover any flaws such as lies, I seriously know what I want in life with those people. It's to basically not be bothered by them!

Making My Daily Goals A Habit

I'm finding myself drawn to playing the piano and working with my computer daily right before going to work. It isn't really a bad thing for me, but I think I could make a few more improvements. With everything that's been added up, I think it's time to make progress with my life.

I am a person who has been very capable of influencing very small groups of people. I don't even aim to be that way. I have become really comfortable with myself and there's just this sense of stability in my heart these days.

Living For What's Appealing

I guess since it's the weekend right now, and I have all this time and don't really have to work, I should really practice on the things that I ought to be doing. My mind is connecting and through all these fantasies that I'm playing through my head, it's just practically a waste of time.

It seems like when everything is going well for me, I just let that one little and small thing in my life mess with my head. From all of those faults I've placed myself into, it seems like I'm learning the good things about them from working hard to not to be bothered by anything.

Letting Things Go

I'm noticing that it really doesn't matter with the circumstances that have happened to me in the past. I shouldn't really be letting the evil funny things get to me now. I just need to brush off myself and move forward now. 

When I look into things more deeply, I am realizing that the bad things that are part of my life don't really have that much great influence to what is really going on in the world. It's a shame that there are people out there including myself who sometimes just think about other things and forget about what should be really happening. I'm just zoning myself out these days and not really doing that much. I don't want to be that type of person.

Using Your Imagination

Today, with one of those really cute girls who I just go to know as a friend because she seems like a young high schooler who barely graduated and is still a teenager, I spoke to her about using your imagination. It's pretty interesting how some very young females can really be mature and whereas, there are a couple who are pretty wild and actually quite open about it in a funny way. Those wild girls can actually be really nice to people in general if they are sensitive creatures.

Anyway, I spoke to her about what she said looked like a tree house. I pretty much said it looked like a house where my pet could live in. It was pretty boring what I said and then I said that I was using my imagination. One of the guys overhearing our conversation threw an identifiable object at me and it hit me too very accurately! It was his hat. Wow, I guess a guy really has to be incited to do something like that with another guy.

I just remembered how cool it was to be in one of my friend's tree house. I just thought it was a prop back then, but now looking back, it was really cool, I got to climb the ladder and go up to that house and actually lay there and do stuff there. I never had a chance to bring a girl up there, but oh well. I'm sure my friend might have and then became engaged to her the year after. I remember something like that from his mom telling me. Things just change fast.

Things Becoming More Greener

I guess through desiring to focus on the right things these days, it doesn't seem to be that much hard anymore. Maybe that's pretty much a $1 billion concept for a few people; get out of town, no way, right? In one sentence, I'm pretty much giving away a simple idea that is just so hard to master. Fortunately, no one has to be perfect to become a billionaire! My friend said that he wanted to be the first trillionaire, which is funny to even think a fully grown man would say something like that. I want to be a millionaire, billionaire, or trillionaire too!

Maybe with the exception of inflation growing so high, then maybe we won't see a trillionaire in this century. I am basically talking about money in dollar signs because I am sure maybe some currencies could reach astronomical values and still be considered worthless in the eyes of a billionaire!

Stepping Further In Life

To get further ahead in life, I'm noticing that I really need to let go of a lot of my own personal distractions. Like, I don't really have time to do "Facebook stalking" on people I'm mad at or the cute girls I just want to grovel over. This one Facebook friend ended up liking all of his future girlfriend's comments and photos. He has a good point because that girl is actually a beautiful woman with a great heart! I actually liked her too but I guess the ones I like and who are single momentarily will find someone a guy to marry. I'm just about 100% in this category, so I guess the girl I pick out and seem to be fond of with all of my heart might just very well be someone who will be cherished by another if I don't get to her first.

It's just all life. If those girls I liked actually ended up hanging out with me, then I am certain that I can uphold the challenge of finding an even greater woman to love. One of the issues I sort of have had trouble with is liking girls who are barely out of high school. They may be really cute and innocent but I'm not like that anymore so much because I feel like a dad if I'm at least like five years older. I guess that doesn't logically make sense, but I can just see her like a really cute sister to have fun with then.

Learning Things From People

In order to learn something you are dying to know about, you can't just make reasons based on pure scientific evidence, you have to also ask them and get to know the person, even if the person is hiding something. Just by speaking to them, you can get an idea of how they are hiding themselves from you or others. Even if the person is just quiet and having a poker face, that pretty much means the person has that type of personality.

With you asking all those funny questions or offensive remarks just to see how the poker face person acts, gets pretty interesting. If he or she gets all crazy on you, then might as well call the cops for emergency backup. 

Being Stable

I believe that stability with others starts within the self. The saying goes "Help yourself, before helping others." Another one goes something like, you can't dive in like a lifeguard and save someone from drowning in a deep ocean if you can't swim either. Also, stability is portrayed in that the more aggressive and conscientious individual is going to end up conquering and taking all the chips in the pot while he or she is incredibly stable.

In other words, if both individuals are unstable then the aggressive person becomes the loser. However, if the aggressive person is more stable than the quiet person then the aggressive person will win. I am an aggressive person, so I have to be stable at all times or else I will lose to quiet insubordinate jerks all the time! About this whole thing where quiet jerks end up blocking me on Facebook after messaging them unstable remarks about how stupid they are, yeah it doesn't matter too much to me anymore! If I do go up to them, I will be completely stable with them and probably make fun of them while being stable underneath in my heart. They might go screaming and trying to chew my head off, but because I am stable, I will calmly and assertively make fun of them and be very reasonable and convincing about how they should go get some professional help.Therefore, no matter how distressed they look, they will like a bunch of losers. No matter how much they try to get me off guard and unstable again, I won't go there and keep conquering them and even get them to unblock me again on Facebook and add me again as a friend! Hahaha and then start making stable comments that insult or offend them, while they can't do anything about it, while I just keep on laughing. 

Been Very Busy

I guess it seems like I've been keeping my mind focused on other things that I really haven't had the time to really write on this blog. It's really hard for me to stay consistent for me even though I have done so for the last three years. It's pretty amazing with the interesting stuff I have written in the past. I still am amazed at the content I have put and how much humor and amusement I actually had while not really noticing it.

This is something new that I'm finally learning. I don't really care too much about the little things in people anymore. What I mean is that it's not going to really bother me so much anymore and talking about it with the person might just feel too weird. If I do end up going that road, I'm probably just going to end up being nice with the person and end up making that person look really bad with others. Later, I would probably suggest they get some professional help or something like that.

I don't know why, but I just like pushing the envelope in those types of areas. It's definitely a really annoying thing about myself. I'm not really so much hurt about things that are said to me; I mean I might feel a little uneasy temporarily but afterwards, it doesn't really get to me anymore. I'm taking a little more notice with some people, in like how they might have a really good impression about me or they might be complete jerks and wackos with me. 

Living In New Awareness

Over these last couple months, I've been starting to put things together. The simple concept that dissipates a lot of my personal issues is to simply just make an effort to not let anything bug me. One of the main things that I'm realizing and trying to laugh over now is this feeling of self-sorrow from seeing myself shorter than some people. It feels like a temporary bipolar chemistry for me that goes underneath. This girl I dated told me that I could wear masculine high heels to feel a lot taller. I told her, "No, I'm going to deal with the pain and work hard to not be bothered by my height."

It's been something I've been so aware of now and with the little things that I feel moody about when I'm around some old friends. I see the bigger picture a lot more and feel more self-confident about myself and personal appearance. Hey, it helped that my date wanted to kiss me for long periods of time even if she was just interested in using me to feed her love addiction. She confided in me with some of her extreme life struggles with her relationships that I have sworn myself to secrecy. I'm never letting it out and will help her out with doing some damage control. I was one of the few people she was able to tell her whole life story with me because she needed someone to release all of the guilt upon and also I confided in her that I wouldn't be judging her. Hey, she was like another guy friend to talk to about my own things and it was cool to share some of my own personal stuff with a female and be understood. We understood each other and connected!

It was nice to finally meet one of those types of girls. Anyhow, I'm keeping myself busy while she's interested in hanging out again as a friend with me. She also told me that not all women hold off on dating a man just because he's short. I totally believe her and see how it applies with myself now. I'm also not so keen on being bothered about my personal height anymore even though I sometimes feel the bipolar effect temporarily from standing and naturally comparing my height with other people. I'm working hard to not be bothered by the differences anymore and so far it's been good for me!

My Neat Forex System

My Forex system has been developed through some usage of my programming skills. It's really crazy that I am finally making use of my computer science degree because it is surely making my life a lot easier now in trying to make money with trading currency!

I developed programs which automatically manage my trades and another program that tells me if I have a good shot with the market at the top right corner of the picture. I think possibly 70% of the time, I will see the "WAIT" sign but other times, I will have a chance to roll and see what happens! I am going to try out both automated and manual trading and see if I can combine them both to make a decent return with the tools I have been trying to tweak into my own favor.

Finally Dated Someone

I finally legitimately dated someone while intentionally knowing we were dating. There was one time a couple years ago where I was asked out by a girl and I did come, but I didn't think it was dating. I also feel that when a girl pats you on the back while hugging you, then yeah, it means she's your friend permanently or something like that. I think that feeling of how she hugs you can change dramatically.

I used to hate being patted on the back by any girl in general when she hugged me, but now I don't seem to mind anymore when I think about who the girl is doing that to me. I say that with a laugh because I thought guys were supposed to like every single girl in the world they met for just one purpose in general. It looks like it's a lot more complicated than that now for me. I can say that sometimes it's better to go against another person's advice no matter how close the person is, especially if you are not bothered by the situation anymore or will be working hard to be like that in the moment of truth and have a definitive purpose with what you are doing. If it's all legal, no matter how much they are overreacting with you, and you are not bothered by the situation or can handle it in that manner then might as well go for the gold instead of not even placing from being stupid in listening to another person who doesn't really know what he or she is really talking about and can't fully relate to you while making you feel little frustrated underneath.

Finally Winning Silly Girl Fights

The thing I am trying to describe is finally finding success in beating my little sister who is apparently very abrasive in her responses with me. The trick is to pretty much not be bothered by the childish girl even though she is almost thirty years old already (!), and then just persist in being nice to her and just being yourself while working hard at keeping yourself from being angry. In other words, it's to pretty much work hard at not being personally bothered by anything.

It's really difficult to not get angry when other girls are just being abrasive in their responses. It's a really negative resemblance of who they are. No, I do not think they are lovely or cute girls to enjoy liking either. This one book is titled, Why Men Love expletive [Contemptuous Women]. I think that book is wrong to have even originated unless it's a book written mainly with sarcasm as it's main point, then I can see how I could enjoy laughing at the author's remarks.

The thing is though I finally managed to get my little sister to settle down while being angry in a Neanderthal (cave woman) like manner, and I did win a small altercation from her being rude to me. She really deserved it for her own taste of medicine. It was really satisfying to finally win one without having to be rude myself. I finally managed to smoothly control the situation while being the nice person I want to be while being calm and collected underneath. It's a personal work that I managed to finally assimilate into doing.

Putting Desire First

First of all, it's really important to find a desire that can be worked on for obtaining greatness. It has to be something that is part of the person's background. I'm sure that if the person invested all of his or her energy into this desire, then he or she will be able to do well in it. Here's a really stupid example I have, when I dedicated myself to pass the video game "Lion King" on Sega Genesis, my heart and soul was on that video game and after tossing Uncle Scar off the cliff, I was on top of the world in my heart for the moment before realizing that I wasted my time playing that game today! Fortunately, I was really young back then in middle school when it happened even though I was stupid for trying to pass it again when I had college homework to do.

Realizing that I'm not so bothered anymore, it's easy for to let out a very hearty laugh when no one is around at my current home. When no one is around, it's easy for me to practice mocking others who are just plain annoying and idiotic. Mainly, my little sister and some women have had some personal issue with me and are apparently too dumb to try to resolve it with me. These women are the ones I would willingly stick into my friend zone! It's crazy that guys can put some women in their own friend zone. I guess I want to put some dumb girls in my friend zone so that I can just watch out for myself in the future.

Walking In Decent Footsteps

It seems like with my blogging efforts, I'm forgetting a lot of my past thoughts after having tried to forge them on this blog. I'm pretty much the on-the-go and then forget if it didn't stick kind of guy. When I see things logically, I shouldn't really be giving into my feelings. I think the crazy part about some women is that these females might take their feelings and heavily depend on it to outlay their daily lives, which might in some cases be extremely insane! What's even more funny for me to realize is that some women might try to look and be nice, but underneath they are really unstable and angry about life's problems and become so annoying to listen to accidentally while they are bickering about it to their close confidants on their cell phones! I guess some people might find it slightly entertaining to listen to and just don't mind the complaints closing in on them and try to accommodate their needs of being someone who is there for them.

Overall, regardless of whatever happens, it's just playing it smart. I happen to be really funny in a natural way without me really trying that hard. It's fun to be silly at times and just not be bothered about the stressful things that happened in life. I guess for trying to be a responsible adult, I really need that type of personal entertainment sometimes.  

Working Hard For Good Things

I'm now really seeing the benefits of hard work for probably one of the first times in my life. It's sort of pitiful that I have been about being half-hearted about being diligent in my life, ever since high school in an emotional sense. I guess I heard the saying that working smarter and not harder is better. I do believe it is true, but I guess I had a working complex of feeling stuck at my work and going nowhere in my life. I would just feel so pressured day in and day out being so uncertain about my future. I was just so nervous from having a lack of understanding of where I needed to go in life.

I pretty much ended up wasting my days instead of finding a woman to love by downloading movies to watch and playing video games. It eventually became really old for me and just continuously living that lifestyle just felt pretty meaningless for me. Okay, I guess for some people they wouldn't mind making it a profession and there's nothing wrong with that. For myself, I believe it just didn't live up to my true potential and was more of a distraction for me to avoid having to deal with the pains in my life and from being very withdrawn about life.

The funny thing now is that I wouldn't mind playing video games for a little enjoyment once I am maybe to make a very good return in my investments and able to find more free time. Right now, I don't really have time to play video games. Heck, I don't even time to go bug some girls for just being feminine and doing ignorant things to me because of it! It all depends on the situation, but what is great is that I'm no longer bothered about the things that used to aggravate me underneath about these not-so-innocent girls. I can now laugh about it after having learned some lessons and not from being disturbed anymore, I just feel more free in my life to take care of the priorities I desire to fulfill!

Living Up To Priority

I'm seeing now that what I really need to do now is just live for the desires that I truly seek in my life. I mean it's really hard to constantly get to this point of balance in a person's life, but in the end, I think it's really worth going after something that would just be lovely. The example I'm thinking of right now, is a really stocky and ugly but successful Asian guy managing to marry a really elegant and compatible lady.

Another thing I sort of have to relate to is this storyline found in Anime; the show is called Soul Eater. In it, the legendary sword Excalibur (the one supposedly used by King Arthur) is actually a talking character that can be obtained for battling the forces of evil. However, although Excalibur is legendary in its battles and will take out many formidable foes, his personality is very hard to get along with for most wielders of the sword. They usually end up abandoning him because of his great demands being too much for others and just can't stand him from being too annoying.

About this whole Excalibur character being too intractable to associate with, I can sort of relate it to some women. Here's the short imagery- when Excalibur is wielded by legendary heroes such as King Arthur and someone godlike, he makes himself very easy to get along with. I guess when some average dudes try to approach some really beautiful women then they might sometimes be turned down or deal with someone who likes to whine and groan about stuff that the guy doesn't care or want to hear about. However, when the beautiful woman meets her match then perhaps, she might just be like this perfect angel to the man which would be enough to make her other admirers jealous of that lucky man!

Fresh and New

The way I'm starting to see things is that everyday is a positive opportunity to gain something significant to satisfy the demands of an individual. Obviously, there is a foundation that I'm sure everybody needs to have in order to progress. Just putting it all together feels so awesome for me!

The things that my puny mind have faced from being selfish, rebellious, and lazy has left me feeling dumbfounded at realizing the wrong I have done in general to myself. For instance, staying up all night just to play a game that didn't lead anymore pretty much took out a couple days to recover before stepping into the real world again. Out of everything that I've done and obviously looking back with a calm and steady heart, I'm noticing that the best things have actually been from being obedient to the Bible. I'm not talking about feeling like I'm better than someone- I'm literally talking about doing what the Bible says verbatim. By doing what Bible told me with those Words, I really didn't follow them fully so I felt dumb from reading the Bible because I didn't feel like following it.

Anyway, long story short, from reasoning my way because I had to in order to try to find some moral sense with the Bible, it actually finally made sense and putting it all together with what I have been learning, things have been actually all right!

Time of Finding Resolve With Anger

One of my friends has told me that when a girl broke his heart, he adopted a philosophy that it is about taking it all and conquering without really having that much regards for other women. I guess some things can scar a person for life. He's a pretty good person, and I don't think he realizes where the doors are open for him sometimes. It must be just the stresses of life and being distracted through wanting to be momentarily happy about stuff. It seems like he's using the excuse of obtaining success as a reason to not focus on his problems.

I finally learned after all these years that it really takes hard work to not let something bother you. All the insides that are part of you and just becoming so agitated and just this hormonal blast that's just dying to be released from the body, man it really sucks to be constantly in that state of mind. I guess that post on "Dealing With Life Successfully" is my way of giving back to people who are able to comprehend the good usage of it. It pretty much is something that I am finally putting together and helping me to focus and concentrate on my work and career while using every brain cell that I could gather in my big head.

Feeling Like Time Slowed Down

This is something that's really cool for me to share. I feel like that there's a lot of time for me to do what I need to do. It came from me waking up in the morning, working out, and then taking a shower. Now, I feel like I have all this excess time to concentrate on the things that I need to. I feel like I could do a lot after waking up in the morning and exercising. I'm going to make it a daily habit for me.

I'm starting to become less aggravated at my own failures and laziness. I have to mention that I am a selfish, lazy, and rebellious person. After having years of being annoyed by my little sister's dumb comments from being so angry in her responses with me, I'm now just opening up my mouth or texting her with my fingers and just typing or saying "Hahahaha" most of the time while being genuine about it.

My little sister can be such a brat in the way she responds. It's like her words in response are like throwing daggers at me. It is so annoying but I'm not bothered by it anymore. Oh well, it is what it is.

Taking Out Excess Distractions

There are a lot of stuff in life that can keep me from getting to where I want to be. I relate to having used to be a very addicted computer gamer. I would pretty much be grinding away my time playing computer games when I could have used that valuable time to earn some money! By me not working, it eventually hit me that I was out of money to buy more cool video games. After awhile, I don't know even though I had those feelings of wanting to play those addicting games, I don't really have that same excitement anymore.

In plain words, I just don't care that I plain suck at video games now. I don't care if other players who are just naturally talented at those games beating me so silly now. I sometimes get that competitive spirit where I want to topple someone at our own game and just start laughing at my opponent's demise. For instance, at a game of checkers on Microsoft Windows, after obviously going to be winning I'll keep on spamming the other guy with messages like "It's your turn!" and "Good move!" while they are not knowing that I'm laughing at them.

Even in writing, after getting so angry at others bagging on my intelligence with insults and hating on my ideas through being angry, I actually wrote one comment that gave me like -100 points and with all these crazy replies from angry people. I engaged in conversation with them and they like shut down with me. It's a lot to learn in life and from being less angry or working hard at not being bothered, it's been a little easier to manage my aggressive feelings with some dumb people. Even my little sister seems dumb to me sometimes and I guess even though it's so annoying that people who are born that way are your family- don't get me wrong, I am a selfish and rebellious person too; anyway, it is what it is!

Driving Away Insanity

The first thing that comes to my mind is how funny I could be to myself without even knowing it when I'm struggling over the most stupid things. When people were going all off tangent and acting really anti-social with me, I guess it really stuck it to them because other people are sort of not associating with them anymore. In a way, they got a taste of their own medicine for being so weird with me.

I'm starting to do the best I can in not getting angry or bothered by some stuff now. I prefer to work hard at not letting those things ruin the mood for me temporarily or even get me to elevate my own blood pressure. My little sister does that a lot and it gets really annoying having to listen to her stupid responses. She has some anger management issues; man, it is so annoying. I'm trying to get a decent conversation going here and getting her to try to catch my drift and giving her enough respect while she would be an understanding person. Nope, not at all; she isn't really that understanding of a person and is just selfish with her angry thoughts.

Now that I think about a lot that has happened and not really afraid of opening up, it just gets me laughing genuinely a lot more at my own thoughts while I'm crying a little underneath. For example, I look at how others stand pretty tall especially other men and when they look down at me to talk in a soft and polite manner, I feel like crying and laughing at the same time for feeling way shorter than them. It is what it is, and I guess it's normal to feel that way sometimes.

Dealing With Life Successfully

I think I'm seriously onto something here on how to be successful in life. I'm going to share it to the best of my ability. Basically, I think it's really about garnering the ultimate inspiration for living. I guess in some cases people would want to relate it to having faith in God for support.

First thing, it's to basically not be bothered by anything or work hard at not being bothered by something. People can sometimes be annoying from trying to screw up your life for all sorts of reasons or threatening you in a non-polite way. If you aren't bothered, then when you sense your life is getting bogged down, you won't over-react to the situation and will have a peaceful sense of mind to utilize your talents to get further in life even with those unfortunate setbacks. For a Christian view, it's to pretty much take up the cross and bare all the burdens and then place Jesus first in the believer's life; this pretty much means that when the body or mind wants to do something to take the easy way out but can't see at the moment it's foolish, by placing trust in a peaceful and loving God then the mind is able to relax and come up with superior solutions or amiable alternatives.

The second thing is to pretty much know what you want in life. I think the Bible has a verse that says "Know thyself." If you aren't sure about what you want in life from being really young at heart still, it's to pretty much spend a few moments in a daily fashion when you remember reminiscing on your full desires. Block out the stress levels momentarily and think about what would make you truly happy in life. Everybody has wishes and desires to obtain otherwise it wouldn't be human- don't deny yourself this privilege of just having thoughts of what it is you want; if it's something that depresses you from thinking about it then I suggest you get some professional guidance to get yourself on the right track.

The third thing is to work hard for what you want in life. Working hard is like taking a big step towards investing in the person's daily affairs. It can keep you occupied when life feels a little meaningless at the moment, but it's great to do because you are occupying yourself on the things you want to do.

The fourth thing is to open yourself up and think positive. A verse in the Bible says whatever is lovely, whatever is good think on these things. (Philippians 4:8) Honesty is one of the greatest personal assets for measuring the current situation. By having a positive outlook in life, regardless of whatever situation you are in, there is a greater chance for you to not let that setback cause you to falter even further back. For a possible applicable standard, this is what I did, I took out a sheet of paper and then wrote on top verbatim (!) "Minimum standard to be happy (at least touch these)" and then wrote down all the general categories from personal standards (fun included) to dating someone. Afterwards, I wrote a brief description of what I had to do, for example, "play this group game at a minimum of five times per week." Here's another one, "Before trying to find a cute girl to date, be sure to touch all the other things I want to do." It's a list that states minimum standard to be happy, what fun or interesting priorities could one come up with and brainstorm!

My Full Forex System

From the two years I spent under tutelage of other traders through downloading different systems and reading trading books or watching videos on it, I'm starting to put together everything I want to work with now. I guess from all the time I spent on it, I'm just constantly coming up with new ideas or realizing techniques that could really be powerful. From the way I see it, I just care about making money and using something that will work while complementing my own lifestyle. It really takes a lot of hard work and dedication to figure it out, but it can still be fun.

Basically yesterday while I had down time at work, I put together a list of the subjects that seemed tantamount to trading successfully and then thought about the tools I had which could sufficiently satisfy those requirements. I'm basically going for long term trading, but I think even as a day trader these things are important to keep in mind: Fibonacci levels, chart patterns, candlesticks, ABCD waves, price action, and break out levels.

On those two charts, it pretty much does all the hard work while putting all the requirements I think is necessary and calculations with some minor quirks that I have to work through, but basically the first chart on the left is used for analyzing the market and then the second is used for entering it in a timely fashion. It's like I use tools to read a story of what's going in the current market and then I use tools to gauge how I'm going to enter, exit, or confirm that I'm in a good trade. Overall, I think I'm seriously onto something with this and only time can time what more I'm going to come up with and realize.  

My Latest Forex System

I pretty much prefer to be a lazy but aggressive trader. I am creating a system that pretty much tailors to my needs, while sacrificing some parts others might desire in what they are looking for. I am basically what people would call a swing trader, which is pretty much a term for being a slightly long term trader but not that very long like a position trader. By average, I might average for about a few days per trade if everything is going well for me.

I was really excited to share my really complicated system awhile back, but after tearing it up and trying to revamp it again, I'm back to being pleased with this adjustment. I seem to have a preference for some tools more than others, and I just can't get rid of it. Now, I've added pretty much a quick oversight of how the market is doing to facilitate if I'm going to have a good trade or not. It looks really boring and complicated but to me, this stuff looks really interesting and exciting to me because I'm just addicted to the opportunity that it imposes on me. I guess this is going to be my permanent setup now for me and I'm going to just be messing with it in my demo account daily to feed my urges of trying to be a successful investor for fun!

Creating More Time

I'm realizing that for the time that I've been given, after letting go of some time consuming activities, I realize that I have a lot more time to utilize in the right, practical direction. For the most part, I am communicating with female friends a lot more these days then talking to my normal buddies. I guess that's a change of pace in breaking away from my shyness with the girls. Also, it seems like there's many hidden things that seem like out of proportion or mystical to the point you would wonder why a girl acts a certain way, but it's not really too much of a surprise anymore for me!

I guess it's a good thing with what I'm trying to accomplish. I mean I'm really enjoying the things that I'm setting up and leading myself to get into. It's pretty hard to keep moving forward because I keep forgetting about my motivations. I learned that to apply proper goal setting, people need to keep in mind the right motivations to keep going and to create strategic plans to minimize distractions. It can also be done in a fun way, which I believe to increase more personal participation. It doesn't have to be just plain boring and a lot of stress-inducing thoughts, it can actually be very complementary to the person's life. This is something I'm making an effort to work now. Right now, it's been really mental and trying to get a great jump on how I'm doing emotionally. I guess I'm just self-checking my own progress a lot these days and with this time that I have going, I should utilize the proper procedures to ensure my personal satisfaction.

Moving Forward!

One of my most biggest worries is blowing up my mind circuit by overloading it with endless information! I'm starting to laugh at the thought of it because I forced myself to blow my brains out from having a lack of self-discipline with the time management department. I guess that's probably one of the major differences that could go along with some people. They might get it later in life or maybe they just had it all along and are really smart while having a reason for what they are seeking after.

Along with using a newly added technique for me which is not let anything bother you now, it's making things a lot easier for me to discuss my views with others. Even though people make aggressive accusations against me in a psychologically weird manner, I guess I feel like frowning underneath when they do it, but it's not really bothering me anymore. It's been helpful too for me to not over-react emotionally underneath by not letting those personal jabs get to me. I guess it's going to happen with some people sometimes, but here and there, I must be getting a lot better at staying calm with my assertions underneath and not really worrying about concentrating and voicing my thoughts. I'm starting to get that smile of approval from others now when I'm discussing over some minor disagreements. I guess that's something interesting about me because I'm only bringing up the topics that are very comfortable for me to handle and the ones that I've actually made some preparations for. Maybe, this could be a sign that if I became knowledgeable at a business then my personality might fit in really well with creating very good relationships with clients and business partners.

Accepting Practicality

I think what is really practical about life is being engaged in personal interests and to also make a great mindful habit of assisting others through this interest to make decent trade-offs whether it comes with favorable quirks or not. In other words, from having watched some films depicting on individualism, I think it's great to be at the top without really having to work for it- if it comes naturally, then all power from God's blessing to you. However, that's not how it works because there's also some people who might make failure a personal issue to be depressed over.

I guess it's just part of culture and personal upbringing to make judgement calls on certain traits and to place bias over something. What's pretty hard is that I'm noticing that sometimes we could be overly critical about superficial things. I think overall, I'm pretty much a student of intrigue and because of it, I'm in a constant state of confusion with some things. It's like I'll make resolve but then get back to something I'd have to call my occasional mistress. I don't literally have one per se but I'm just making a symbolic point. I'm just going to have to try to move forward and do the right thing when times are absolutely critical. For myself, I think my issues have actually been pretty comical; with the stuff I have been worried about, I've been such a baby! Now, I'm trying to accept this personal step of growing as an individual and progressing to where I need to be.

Becoming Resilient

There's pretty much this trend of personal suffering that some people can go through sometimes. The best way I think I can describe it right now is that when the going gets tough, the feeling is that it's going to get tougher and not be very pleasing as you would like. Therefore, some people just become lazy and then shut themselves down because they can't handle a personal mental beating. 

I guess resiliency is a really necessary trait for successful people; I personally like to characterize it as strength to carry on. Its actual or logical definition has two similar meanings which is being able to also bounce back from a difficult situation or withstanding something. I sort of have taken notice that some church people have claimed that I kept on justifying myself and couldn't submit to their needs from being an overreacting bunch of twerps! This was at the time where I was trying to be resilient in figuring out what was the source of their distress and just asking questions. I guess a few wrong moves here and there took me out of the running with their lives- moody people aren't always going to think about treating you fairly. When you bunch them all up together in this restless state of mind and they are actually thinking about how to deal with you, well you know how it goes. 

Overall, I'm trying to not be bothered by the situation anymore. Even the annoying advice some people might unintentionally give me, I'm not trying to be bothered by those ideas anymore either. I think it was just happening from me continuously bringing up the subject; maybe, if I truly wasn't bothered by the situation then I wouldn't even keep talking about it. I'm going to have to draw my own personal conclusions about the event that took place and do the best I can to be objective about it, but I think it's been a lot easier these days to manage those negative feelings of bitterness and being let down through actually thinking positive and also finding reasons to not be bothered by my issues with others anymore. 

Not Inwardly Fretting Anymore

Being young and pretty dumb, I used to feel like all hope was lost after seeking to complete a task and not getting to accomplish it in a timely manner. I would then owe it to wasting my time by playing video games and watching pointless T.V. shows. Let's just say, I've been really tempted to get caught up in the flesh and even though, I will never break the commitment I have made with God, a tiny part of me wants to rebel against God at times. As I become more skillful and savvy, I am aware of the places I could go to try to take the easy way out. However, I'm just not that type of person- I prefer to go after the long haul and take a personal journey that's just out of proportion filled with good humor, great fun, and just ingenious!

By iterating these simple and powerful realizations, I've been feeling so dumb about the lifestyle I've lived. I was like trying to live the high life and trying to always humble myself. I was trying to break it down into being this personally fair-minded person. It's been such a challenge for me, but now, it's actually something I really enjoy smiling about for the person I've become. I don't know, when a speaker at church mentions how bad we are as people, I laugh along with a good number of others too. It's not that I disagree, I actually agree that I'm a pretty bad person.

I guess one of the good things or very weird things about me is that I'm starting to enjoy being in the friend zone with many females right now. One of my female friends told me that girls in general are crazy! It's because they could be so moody at times even when they don't intend on it- it's like their bodies are just naturally built to over-react sensitively. I'm starting to understand this part with the ladies in general and frankly, I'm accepting that it's a part of others as well. I try not to show my emotions, but underneath I could be wanting to cry like a big baby too.

Becoming Reorganized

I guess my nature is really developed into seeking after pleasure. Basically, setting goals and getting to accomplish them while being challenged is always a great feeling. I have learned something new about myself in that perhaps, I'm a pretty persistent person and yes, I agree that I can be very stubborn as well. That's pretty much where I have some fun by trying to talk playfully and take pleasure in getting some of my female friends to laugh or smile.

Secondly, it's basically to not be bothered by anything in life. No matter what gets put on you, it's important to try to understand the possibilities of what happened and to be able to do something about it. My personality is just so caught up with selfishness and with this reveling nature. I really need to pursue after my goals and responsibilities and to live up to them. It's becoming more of a reality for me and something I want to pursue after. I think it's just for myself primarily and then about placing cares and concerns for others. I would seriously like to obtain several resources so I could help the people I care about or engage in promoting welfare for others.

Living In Reality

I'm now thinking that the minority can totally shape how the world is normally run. The flip side is that the majority outnumbers the minority by a lot and so the question would be, are they doing the right thing and is it something I shouldn't indulge myself in? It's really hard to say because after watching a few Chinese films, it totally depicted how the world can be a very messed up place for the common people.

I have learned something really important to my walk. These days after having failure in being attentive to getting taught, I'm starting to naturally be able to listen and be a more actively engaged student. I'm now doing my homework and making all these careful considerations before even taking a step further. Something really cool that I learned is that talented people aren't going to over-react because they aren't going to be bothered by the problems that get forced upon them. Instead, they are going to be able to do something about it with their creative minds and focus on doing the right thing.

Forming Great Habits

Talking about my last post, to summarize, I've basically been screwing myself over from thinking about very highly unlikely desires that I wish to obtain. It's just plain stupid for me to continue lingering longer with those lustful thoughts that won't ever come to pass. I'm basically thinking about the type of girl I want to get married to and from doing a little reading around, it hints that the type of girl I would ideally desire is almost nonexistent. I might as well just accept it that the right type of girl that I truly long to be with will never surface because when I do the math, she is a person who would be in the absolute minority and along with how there's a lot of competition with other guys who would want to chase after her, I guess it plays out that I'm going to be left out.

I take it that my wholesome appeal isn't really something that wouldn't cater to the desires of a super majority of attractive women. At first I couldn't really accept this fact, but whether I like it or not, I'm pretty much suffering from having not tried to face my own reality. Therefore, now I humbly accept my situation and my place. I'm just thinking that it's probably better for me to think about how the majority feels whether than take it to focusing on a minority because it would surely save me a lot of time figuring out things and also be a lot easier. I don't feel depressed or anything, but rather relieved to be focused on truly living freely while being myself and taking the opportunity to grow as a person whenever I can while seeing it in a fun way!

Becoming Practical

I'm realizing for the lazy, rebellious, and stubborn person I am, I'm sometimes caught up with thinking about obtaining unrealistic outcomes that are just far out of my reach. I guess I've done enough growing up to not be that worried about feeling left down now. This is pretty cool, but I think I'm learning to really manage my feelings very well and to be accepting of my personal situations. I'm starting to gain those little extra realizations in my slight screw ups- that's what I presume people would call experience!

I see that discipline is just a matter of pushing myself when I have the ability to do so even under those moments where I'm just completely stuck up in my own personal bubble. It's just making that effort even though it seems so little and feels like I'm putting in a lot of my focus into it. From having been a weird person since high school, I've had a lot of personal behaviors to unlearn. I'm finally coming to a heart's realization through experience and mentally coming up with very good reasons to let go of the things in the past that are keeping me from progressing further. It's time for me to make strides and to try to live like there's no tomorrow and do everything that I can in the now. 

Balancing Work and Rewards

This is something new that I'm going to try. It's a really simple system that I conjured from reading up on time management. I guess it's always been in the back of my mind, but I just don't do this on a daily basis because my feelings are just worn out. I think I should overcome my negative feelings which make me very unproductive and learn to just suck it up in life when things are just not going the way I want them to.

There's pretty much two steps to my system of managing time- I just love keeping it simple! I remember one of my math professors for Linear Algebra just constantly reiterate how easy and simple those complicated math problems were. Man, it was annoying and for the F I received in the class, I just took it like a man and aced the class the second time around. I seriously did not know what I was doing but just mindlessly following a set of rules like a drone. I guess sticking to a system even without understanding it can provide some sort of relief in life, but seriously get some help if you can when that happens.

Managing Time Plan

1. Get a piece of paper to scribble on. Divide two sections of the paper and on one side put down the absolute musts in your life (e.g. school, work, and current obligations such as needing to hit the gym). For the other side, make a list of the fun necessities in your life like you seriously need this to complement your lifestyle such as T.V., playing video games, or going out on dates! Here's what my list looks like:

School                                                                                  Checkers
Work Out/Health                                                                  Blog
Work                                                                                    Piano
Study Language                                                                    Date
Sleep

2. For the first pile- pick something from that list and get to working at it. After completing it or if you think you deserve a break, reward yourself with like a game of checkers or something fun of that sort. Try to go pick up a date or something. Basically, don't spend so much time on the fun pile. I limit the time I spend blogging, but have to watch out for blowing my time playing my piano because it's so fun and addicting to mess around on it and play stuff that annoys your neighbors and siblings.

Something Old To Reconsider

I think this is pretty much an old thing that almost everybody should already know. It's pretty much about honoring something greater than us. Wouldn't it just be great and a lot easier in life to have something that would never fail us and something we could depend our whole life on for everything we needed and to also place our utmost respect towards? I guess that's why some people choose to become dependent on their faith from the moment they felt they perceived the light.

What I'm trying to point out is that for the selfish, rebellious, and stubborn person that I am, it really isn't about me. I realize that I'm more willing to get away with things in life rather than be this goody two shoe person others try to take advantage of for their needs. Because of this, I'm starting to think that it's about going after living out the pure heart's intentions of carrying an honor system. As long as the intent is made clear and known, it shouldn't matter what the end result is. I mean it's good to place full effort, diligence, and concentration towards achieving a favorable outcome, but it's already sufficient to make that conscious effort on a daily basis.

Adjusting Lifestyle To Fit Priorities

Timing everything right is pretty much king! I pretty much worded another commonly known saying Time is money! In a way, I believe that it's a lot harder to personally see how to effectively manage your time if you are a young brat who graduated from high school and just like staying up playing video games. I actually knew this one guy who was like that and another person who was actually me!

It's great to be ignorant about life and not even care about how others are just isolating you while you are having all the fun in the world competing against other gamers for pride and affection among them. It was pretty much a phase for me and now I'm opening myself up to the real world and feeling happy at the thought   of settling down with someone nice. I don't really have anyone at the moment because it seems like I can't really fathom dating someone cute who is like ten years younger than me; it just feels weird- try being Tom Cruise for a change who was married to the beautiful Katie Holmes and where their age difference is about twenty years! Wow, it seems like Tom Cruise is never getting any older and just staying immortally young- I guess that's the deception Hollywood wants others to think.

At a nutshell, it seems pretty depressing to have no outlook of marrying the ideal person for myself. The dating hopefuls on the Internet seems to be tough and selective with the criteria they are looking for too. However, what sucks is that I'm actually born to marry someone eventually. I just know this because I can't run away from the thought of how pretty some girls are in general or how I've been captivated by a couple of them. I guess it's just a natural thing to eventually grow up and take on these grown up responsibilities while raising a family of your own. The thing that currently bugs me the most right now about dating is ending up with a person who just feels like a lifetime apart in the age category. I just don't even know how they did that human-vampire relationship on the movie Twilight!

Balancing Workload

The definition of work is a really exemplary symbol of all the effort that goes into making something good happen. Its definition according to Google is activity involving mental or physical effort done in order to achieve a purpose or result. Basically some things are obviously greater than others and I guess people can go all off in tangent with trying to debate about what's better or not. In other words, it's just all fun and games in the end and something to laugh about while others are just messing with each other. 

Overall, I believe that it's actually fun to be a workhorse! Like all these baseball pitchers who probably worked their butts off to finally get a no-hitter, the reward of something great like that is just the emotional uplifting and spiritually joyful upraising for the rest of the person's life. Even it's just worth to go through all that length and to do it in a proper sense to even score the hottest girl in the world! 

Believe it or not, when guys are playing video games they are actually working! It's just so funny to think about it if you are a girl who hates video games in general. These guys are so spoiled and selfish about winning at Call of Duty! Maybe, some of these guys might have some mental issues not being able to get a real-life job or anything, but still my point is being made that most people like to work. Even one of my closest friend's lame twin brother has to challenge himself daily by working out and playing Halo while ignoring the fact that his life is completely going to shambles! It's sort of scary, but at least he's dumb as a door nail because he wouldn't be able to pull the trigger when you tell him about how many people died or got caught trying to fight law enforcement. It's funny that even though his life is really insignificant, he doesn't want to be considered another statistic. He has pride in living his life because his daily job is to pretty much do chores around the house for his mother, work out, and play video games and then eat or sleep! Staying a kid at heart is sometimes a nice thing if you can't hack it in the real world. Overall, I don't really feel bad for him because in a way, that's how he raised himself to be and that's just the outcome of how he's supposed to become. He can't score any girlfriend no matter how hard he tries, so he's pretty much going to be that 10-year old bully who is jealous of other guys who have girlfriends, but at least he's harmless after talking all big and mean because he can't take it all the way. 

Work Hard Play Hard Mentality

I remember one of my high school teachers stated that U.C. (University of California) students have this mentality of working hard and playing hard. I'm actually starting to get to that position in my life now. What I see as fun is pretty much minor influences in my life which I feel something with. It's like I really need to engage in those small things to be able to identify with something. For myself, it seems like issues that seem really testy for me are the ones that I love to have fun dealing with. I'm just weird like that, I guess, so if anyone has a problem with me, he or she is really going to feel something with me when I am around the person. I'm also the one whose really stubborn about getting away with something if the person is just naturally bothered by my presence. All in all, it's just about having fun for me and I'm not even trying to upset their life or anything; they just let themselves hang themselves with great lengths while I'm trying to get them to not do anything to harm themselves. 

Now I know where I'm really weird in my life dealing with insincere and annoying people. Hopefully one of these days, I won't get shot, hung, or burned with them forming a mob against me. Actually, I'm not even out there to screw anyone over. I guess it's not really a likelihood of it happening to me. I'm always going to be that guy who counters negative situations going against myself, even if it frustrates anyone. Heck, even my worst enemy will end up liking me for my occasional shenanigans. It's just a part of me that originated when I was feeling like a deer standing in front of oncoming headlights during social situations. The fear underneath me caused me to labor hard to stand tall and brave in those unsettling social moments I had going for myself; I just hate standing there and watching myself getting screwed over. It's really annoying!

Prioritizing Over Minor Influences

In life, I'm sure that at least some people like myself who don't really think about what they are doing to have fun because it's generally a happy routine that's going on for them. At the same time, I'm sure there are a few exceptional people who just feel bothered about their situations in life and are trying to occasionally make an effort to get out of it. 

I'm finding myself drawn to the lesser influences in life to keep myself occupied. For instance, when I could be striving towards a better today and studying hard to make a good attempt for a major development, I'm setting my mind out to foolishly have fun hanging out or watching mindless T.V. shows. 

This is something that has been under my nose, but I'm now recovering it. It's to pretty much make priority over the most important influences in your life and to be happy over them. If you are like me, you will constantly be making changes to your priorities and schedules to try to end that constant madness that seems neverending. 

Building Strong Foundations

During some downtime at work, I managed to research a little up on my dream occupation. From being almost thirty, I'm going to be a realist now. I do have a college education, and I am interested in pursuing a graduate degree which would open a door for a very lucrative position. I mean, who really isn't when he or she is career-minded? 

My dream job doesn't really have all the necessary and attractive attributes that would ensure absolute job security for me. From doing a little looking around with my googling skills, I couldn't really find that many entry-level positions open for it so it seems like I'm going to have to stick to what I have going on for myself now. 

At the bare minimum, I can say that I have some job security at the moment and that there's room for me to advance in my career. I pretty much have been given an open door to some opportunity with making money. It's pretty excellent. I'm a little too careless right now, but I'm really working towards a better and brighter day. One of those days, everything is going to start to click and all my efforts are going to make me the balanced person I'm looking forward to. Right now, for myself I could sure use more work on myself and now I very active in these choices. It's great to have friends to hang out with and all too, to just let go of the stresses of managing myself temporarily. One of these days, I might truly have to establish a good family with a decent spouse. I think I would seriously enjoy almost every moment with the times that are good and give all my efforts to providing well for it.  

Focusing On Priorities

Something that sort of bothers me pretty much are those who are living on the streets and can't really fend for themselves. While being physically able, it really sucks that there are people out there who can't suck up the harsh reality of actual living and go after what truly needs to be done. I think it's great to really have a busy schedule and be mindful of personal things to be occupied with, but it's really sad for those who aren't able to establish basic necessities. 

It really doesn't matter how many good people there are in this world, because I think the majority of the people are actually selfish. Still, I'm just one of those people who want to be compassionate about the important things in life. Heck, I'm not even the jealous type person. I guess my personal feelings have priorities over how I want to live my life over the actual existence of living. Because of this, I'm sometimes wallowing in my beautifully gifted intelligence about my selfish desires and not paying attention to anything else. 

I'm realizing that these personal issues that I've been suffering over are actually not so bad as I thought they were initially. Overall, it really doesn't matter what the end result is but it's just a way of living through personal preference. I must be weird in this area but I enjoy trying to take advantage of people who are bothered by me, and even though I was really sensitive with them in how they were seeing life with their distressed emotions, I see that it's not really that bad in actuality and that it really doesn't matter what they end up doing to me. I'm not the annoying type, neither the depressed coward. 

I'd like to really have my life all together with all of my personal ambitions being fulfilled before I add in the weird niche I really like to waste time over in my life. It's just taking managing my time properly and executing proper micro decisions. Overall, there's pretty much a balance that I am going after now.